Desert Craters

I love the way you illustrated this! The idea of an arrogant person being taught a lesson because they were greedy makes me smile, but I have questions! Was this all a setup from the mayor, the client he was rude to, or the homeless girl? What happened to the being that taught Enzo a lesson? Does Enzo's newfound humility stick, or does he go back to his old ways? If he goes back to his old ways, do we get to see him be taught a lesson again? Is Enzo ever held accountable for the poor lizard (RIP)? This was very well done. Great job!

Ahhh, the muted color palettes, the creative perspective and framing of each of the shots, the self-confidence on display in really knowing your own drawing style and how to make something feel like it's all your own. Honestly, the amount of frames you put together for the fight scene alone make this one feel almost like a complete product-- NOT an animatic. The world in this one really shines, and I've never seen anything like it in the program. You've got style for miles and miles, and that makes the whole nonsensical story a joy. But let's talk about how to make nonsense matter on a character basis! There's some wonderful examples of that recently on YouTube. If you haven't watched Mummy Joe's Kid Vampire, I highly suggest you do -- I think your storytelling sensibilities have a lot in common with that project. I think you have a strong and very condensed beginning to the story, which is impressive. We start right in the end of a transaction, and it immediately shows what kind of person Enzo is. He's only in it for himself. Immediately after that, he's given a chance to be charitable to someone in need... and, well, he actually DOES give a dollar to them. I feel like, at least in the way it's said in the story, it kind of works against the setup. It's such a cartoon that I'd rather see him reject the orphan than give in, even a little. Or if he does give the dollar, maybe he'd, like... take out his katana and only slice off a tiny corner of the dollar bill for her to have. But it's a funny bit. (Even if it's an Internet joke, it still works in the story. So good on you.) Things that don't really go anywhere: The lizard, the purple strand, and the craters themselves. Is it a bad thing that craters are forming? What's the downside of having more craters? Is there a cost? Is anything in danger? Or is it just a mystery? You've got to establish the stakes, especially since this is what's driving the whole plot. I assume that purple strand is a part of the H Monarch, but it's never really brought up in any way that they were connected, or what the purple strand does. And I'm guessing the lizard was supposed to be a joke -- as if Enzo had succeeded in destroying some ultimate evil behind the craters, but it was really nothing. It's funny that he goes home to sleep after that, but I feel like you could make the joke funnier while also making the story beat land better if you play all of this up more. Like, Enzo throws himself a party for killing the beast that was behind the craters. And he's going to pretend he hasn't solved the problem so that he can be paid for more days of work. All more ways of demonstrating everything wrong with Enzo. Question: ... Enzo's name is Enzo H. Is... is the H Monarch... related to him in some way? Why do they both have "H" in the name? It feels like that's on purpose, but it's never really elaborated on in the story. It'd be super-cool if the H Monarch was specifically created to mirror Enzo's pride, and so he deflects everything Enzo does in the battle, meaning Enzo can never defeat him. That is, until ENZO surrenders, because the H Monarch will surrender to mirror him. You could even be super-silly and make it so that it really WAS the lizard who had been making the craters, and the orphan had made the H Monarch over the night to teach him a lesson for being so stingy-- she wanted to hold a MIRROR up to him, to show him what he was like. ... Then she asks him for more money, hahaha. That kind of intentionally circuitous cartoon writing is something I really enjoy. Enzo picking up the balloon at the end is visually very cute, but does it mean anything in specific? I feel like if we're going to focus this on humility, it should end with a visual that would demonstrate the change. Like, maybe Enzo used to have a big, braggadocious sign about himself on the front door of his detective agency, and he decides to take it all down. Or maybe he had a big fat mirror so he could look at himself, but now that he's had enough of his reflection, he takes down his mirror. OR, maybe to show he's been bested, he ceremonially gives his katana up to the H Monarch/the orphan. Something fun like that. One thing's for sure: This story has the BEST fashion sense of them all. : )

I really enjoyed watching your story and think that Enzo is an interesting character who learns an important lesson. I'd like to know more about why Enzo is so arrogant and why the H Monarch knew about Enzo and created this elaborate way to teach him a lesson. I like your drawings a lot. They are clear and really help tell the story. The design for the H Monarch is very unique and cool. I wonder why you had the homeless girl come to the door and have Enzo be so un-caring. Was that to show he is arrogant? I would love to see the next version of this story.