Isla

This is great! I like that the visuals were consistent throughout. Making the eyes colored and everything else black and white helped signify their significance. I would like more details on how this world works, though. The characters have magic, but I'm not sure of the significance of this. Is the magic tied to their eye colour? What does having two different colored eyes mean? You also did a nice job with the narration. I was able to easily follow the story because of it. Great job!

The illustrations in this are SO charming and strong! Just one picture of Isla, and I'm on board for the whole story. Specifically, the phrase "true colors" stands out as a really great metaphor, and a beautiful phrase to sum up the story-- very clever of you to have something that works on two levels there. Since there's only two main characters in this-- Isla and the boy, don't you think the boy deserves a name, too? If you've got a duo like that, they deserve similar attention in the writing department, I think. One thing that's never brought up is what the perceived risk is for anyone being caught with two eye colors. Does Isla think she'll be ostracized? Bullied? Kicked out of town? Denied opportunities "normal" people would be given? Put in jail? Sentenced to death? Does she have any reason to believe she's in danger if she's found out? Did her parents tell her to hide her eye color? (Her FAMILY has to know, right? Like... what's their whole take on this?) And then on the other side of things, it's not really explained how any of these people are HIDING their eye color. Do they wear sunglasses? Do they put in a fake contact lens to hide one of the eye colors? How does the boy find out Isla is different? The whole story really seems to center on the prejudice that comes from being different. The magic powers the eye colors give you is never really PART of the story, as cool as magic powers are. If I were going to do something to make the story stronger without having to ADD ANYTHING, I'd probably just cut the magic powers part, and have it be about a world where no one (supposedly) has two eye colors. Then I might just add a quick line that says that there are laws in place that would put anyone found with two eye colors in jail. But I feel like jail is a little played out-- maybe people with two eye colors would be CORRECTED, BY FORCE if necessary. Like, there's a factory that would change your eyes to be the same color with a painful surgery. Everyone's gotta be symmetrical, or else. I think that fits with the rest of the story. With that out of the way, the audience would know the rules of the world, and the risk of disobeying the rules. Very important to set solid ground rules! But while I'm talking about the magic powers, I think you forgot your own rules: Isla has BLUE AND GREEN colored eyes. She has the power of plants and WATER. She can't move chunks of EARTH-- that'd be brown colored eyes. And I'm not entirely sure why her powers dissipate-- is it that the boy is cancelling out her powers with his own powers? That could be clearer. I don't even know if her powers dissipating AT ALL really add anything. Shouldn't he just use both of his powers on accident, thereby revealing himself? Obviously, in the real world, protests and demonstrations can be very useful. I think that could be part of the big thing at the end of the story. But it doesn't seem so powerful to have it be met with no described pushback. Like... in real life, when different people try to say they deserve to be treated just like anybody else, they are met with hate and fear. Yeah, we want a happy ending in our story, I think... but it's just gotta feel earned. It's good to have your characters face a HUGE PROBLEM, and have it be hard to fix. If it's easy for them, it won't feel satisfying for the audience. If you're going to have these magic powers as part of the story, show what Isla and the boy can do that no one else can. If she's water AND plant, maybe she can grow plants that let you breathe underwater? Or she controls the plant life underwater, keeping coral reefs healthy, etc.? And if the boy is earth AND water, maybe he can... stop mudslides? Or dive into the ground like it's water? If it makes them special, we have to see how it makes them special in more than just how it looks. (I was actually thinking that since you put out THREE EYE COLORS, it'd be SUPER-interesting if someone just happened to be born with THREE EYES, instead, and just kept their third eye closed at all times. If you know the phrase "third eye", you'll know that comes with another meaning, too, which is fun.) If you're NOT going to have these magic powers as part of the story, then maybe that's the whole point: It's just a matter of looking or seeming different, and that's scary to people. It's something so innocent and harmless, and yet, that little bit of difference is scary to people. And so the public demonstration could show they're no different from anybody else. You could have them ask everyone to, like, close their eyes. To see with their heart, and realize how things look on the outside aren't what matters -- and that maybe there are people who LOOK NICE who are actually the evil, dangerous ones. Super-solid foundation-- here's hoping we can all stop being scared of anyone different in real life, too.