TBD Band

Hello Diego! What I loved most was the importance of the colour throught the story. It made me feel good when they were playing music in his dreams and they filled with colour. I also like the bubbles that explained what was happening in his mind, I think they were a nice replacement of voices. I think it would make it stronger is to add music when they are playing it and to shorten the story by keeping the most important parts of it. Great work!

Hi Diego, thanks for sharing the project, I can see lots of effort has been put into it! I love how you frame the shots and plan the actions, there are many interesting camera angles and I enjoyed that you use minimal dialogues and just let the visual talks - it's more interesting for me. From an audience perspective it is too long, I think it will be much more engaging if you condense the story to somewhat 5 mins (Pixar short films are great examples of how to tell an compelling story within 5-8 mins :) ) though this might be still a WIP but maybe considering adding background music would also help with emotions and the flow - you can transition scenes following different music or beats. Definitely keep making more animations :) good work!

Hey Diego, really cool concept and great work! As a writer I admittedly tend to rely on dialogue and/ or auditory cues (audio books) to build characters and follow a story- while it was an adjustment to not have that here, it was impressive how much you were able to do that with neither of those aspects. I liked the colors and the symbolism used, though sometimes I didn’t fully follow the chosen visual (like 2:39). I’d be curious to know your plans for this moving forward- also agreed with some of the other comments below though (for a non-musician it feels a little long, and that you could add more weight to the making of music itself vs playing in front of live audiences). Good luck with however you plan to take this going forward!

Hi Diego, The emotions and colours are great and tie the emotions well throughout the story. The concept is good - self-belief and perseverance are strong messages, and can definitely relate to finding the right people to make music with! As a story about music, it definitely requires some background music to tie it all together (might make it feel shorter, as the 20 minutes felt a little long). Really wish you the best of luck with where you take this.

Hey Diego, thanks for sharing your video draft with me. First of all I’m amazed by the personal effort you’ve put into this. As a professional illustrator and someone who's job it is to write storyboards and illustrate them I know how much work this is. But I also know, it’s just the beginning – so I’m exited to see the next steps! 

 About the story itself: Totally get it – it's about having a dream and listening to your inner kind of drive. That you will find your ppl and should always believe in yourself. 
 As someone who really loves music, the only criticism I have is that during the video I thought/hoped that the cha would understand or learn that it’s about *making* the music and not only about playing live in front of a lot of ppl. That music is something very emotional and personal for the artists. And that success is something that usually comes with time, if you believe in yourself, learn and follow your heart. Maybe this aspect is a small piece of the puzzle that shapes your story a bit more. You don't have to stress about one gig, more will come if you're patient. There are a lot of people out there who match your energy and are looking for you too. Hope my PoV is helpful for your next steps :) All the best, Gi

Hey Diego, great work! I really enjoyed the concept, keep it up!

Hi Diego, I enjoyed this video and thanks for sharing with me! I must say, your animation skills are truly impressive, and the storyline you created is captivating. I really appreciate the messages I received from watching your work. Firstly, it reminded me of the importance of perseverance and not letting negativity discourage us from pursuing our dreams. Secondly, the concept of attracting the energy we put out into the world resonated with me deeply. Lastly, the idea of being visible to connect with like-minded individuals who can enrich our lives is a valuable lesson. My suggestion is to consider incorporating a narrator and some background music to enhance the mood and guide the viewers even further into your story. Additionally, I felt that the video's duration of 20 minutes was a bit lengthy. Shortening the video or splitting it into sections could make the message(s) more concise and impactful, and easier to digest. Also, I am very intrigued if you consider adding background music to it and what it will become! Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed watching your video! Keep up the fantastic work and continue sharing your artistic vision with the world :)

Hi Diego, Thank you for allowing me to experience your animation! I know it can be a nerve-wracking experience to share your art, something you poured your heart and soul into. Good for you for putting yourself out there and seeking constructive criticism. Choose the bits and pieces of people's feedback that resonate with you, and leave the rest behind :) My thoughts: I very much enjoyed your unique drawing style and expressive use of color. The characters' facial expressions were sometimes great for me, sometimes slightly unclear. I would also cut it down quite a bit, to 5-10 minutes, keeping only the most impactful frames, and add a fun musical score. A story about music deserves some great music. Keep up the great work of expressing yourself through your art!

Diego, I loved your use of color throughout the entirety of the film, as well as in singular frames to emphasize the emotion and character building. It was a fantastic visual representation/metaphor of the emotions each character was experiencing and the levels to them as one feels and responds. I'm interested to see how you utilize sound and background music in a film so rooted in a theme around music! I feel like that's what was missing here, though I'm aware this could be added in later! Not necessarily sound or music that is obvious in match to the emotion, but one that has pacing and levels that match the characters. Great work!

Hi Diego, Great work. this is a lovely story. I really like the use of colour, especially at the end. I can see why you are saying it represents the emotions of the character but as I was watching, it felt more like it was their energy/aura/spirit if that makes sense as opposed to just happy or sad etc. when she is losing her confidence and her way a bit she is taking on the colours of others and losing hers, but find the strength in herself to shine and bring people with her in the end. i really liked the visual of the hands reaching out over the crowd at the end. I do think 20 minutes is a bit long and there are parts along the way that could be shortened without losing the impact of the ending. The colours and thought bubbles can give a lot of context even if story is shortened. I did get a little lost coming into the middle of the story, i think the pacing and jumpiness of storyboard ( not your fault, thats just how storyboards are haha ) added to this but if story was condensed and scenes near beginning/middle were simplified I dont think this is too big an issue to resolve. Sound would also help, especially with a lengthy story to help keep viewers engaged. This would probably help with figuring out the pacing too.

Hi Diego, this is awesome! I love how the colors are being used throughout the story. Drawing looks simple yet still perfectly captures all the emotions and facial expressions - I love it. I do think some scenes pass by too quickly, so it would be nice if the speed could be adjusted a little bit. Love how the story ends for the main character & it really brought smile to my face :) One more thing I'd like to suggest is having a background music that fits the theme/vibe to better engage viewers. Thanks for sharing your work!

Hi Diego, really enjoyed your short story and animation, good work! I think the animation style is very expressive and bold, so the viewers can get what's the characters going through. The usage of colors to represent emotions is a clever way also and is able to create a theme throughout the story. On a personal level, I can also relate to the main character's situation and feelings. It's hard to find "your people" or "your person" who share the same purpose and energy with you. And the story captures that really well. It reminds me that you have to be brave enough to take chances, overcome your self-doubt, maintain consistency, and genuinely put yourself out there. And you might just find your crowd. As for room for improvement, I think addition of some background music or sound would be great to further punctuate the feelings of the main's character, and also to help the viewer get immersed in the story. The 20mins duration might be "scary" for some viewers, so maybe you could separate the story into several parts to hook viewers to watch "bite-sized" mini animations. Personally, the theme of women empowerment is not very visible to me, however the message (in the above paragraph) is still quite close to heart. All in all, I really enjoyed your work and your message. Keep up the good work Diego! :)

Hey good job Diego with creating a detailed storyline with simple animation, I really like the usage of color especially how it expresses emotion. I do think this can be shorter because there were parts I had to go back to understand, maybe even a bit slower? I also think some sound addition could be nice especially since it's about music.

Hi Diego! Great work! And sorry for the delay. For the things I loved; The energy was present and strong. the main character was very expressive throughout and personally I connected with her, in her feelings of self-doubt and gaining confidence/empowerment. I also believe the use of thought bubbles was very clever for the narrative and for the most part understandable. I enjoyed your drawing style. She was always recognizable over the other characters and the events were clear to narritive. For the cons I do think the length could be shortened. Not quite making the panels shorter as the pace was very good but sometimes you have a reiteration of the same themes so it could be edited out or possibly broken down into two videos. I think 20 mins could be a deterrent to some viewers, but 10 minutes would be enough to hook them in and want to watch parts 2. Also, while I loved the use of color and thought it was very fun; I was confused over the usage. At first it seems connected to emotion, but I understand it is in relation to each other? This may have just been a miss on my part as the viewer. Wonderful work and I’m excited to see what else you create!

Hi Diego, your work is great, I really enjoyed watching this. I personally play in heavy metal band, so I felt familiar with this video. I felt sympathy for the main role, it is really difficult to find a band members to play with, and it was the biggest obstacle when I wanted to start a band. I was encouraged by this story. The usage of color is interesting，it's visible that strong emotions spreads. Frankly speaking, I didn't get the message about woman empowerment, but anyway this is a great work! I love a headless guitar!

Hi Diego, first of all, your video is great. Creating animations and coming up with a complex storyline and message like yours is not easy, well done! *thumbs up* The messages I took from watching are: "1) Believe in yourself and follow your dreams - don't let people get you down. 2) You attrack the energy you send out to the world. 3) Be visible so that the people who enrich your life and share your vision can find you." My suggestion would be to add a narrator and music to underline the mood and guide the viewer even more through your story. In my opinion, it was a bit too long with 20 minutes... I think that the message(s) would also come through if you eliminate the part where the people left the group (at 11:50). Maybe it does make sense to be more precise here... What message are you focusing on? Also I have open questions: Is this a story about diversity? If so, I did not really get that part. All in all, I enjoyed watching it. Way to go, Diego! :-)

Hi Diego, this looks great! I really like the concept of your story. I think it would help to add in a bit of narration but the clarity of your drawings really helps sell the idea as well. Nice work!

The overall moral of the story was great, which for me was to believe in yourself and your talents, even when they are different from others. Plus, how having confidence within ourselves is extremely important in helping us to achieve our goals. Creative way to convey the various messages included in the story.

Apologies for the delayed reply! Congratulations on being able to submit to the exhibition Diego; your storyboard is off to a very entertaining start and I can’t wait to see what you’ll deliver in future versions to further enhance it and deliver on the cliffhanger ending! The best part for me about this reel currently is the character writing and the story itself. The drawings, while still rough, communicate great staging, clear character design, and wonderful expressions; at no point did I get lost or confused regarding the story on account of the drawings themselves, you really delivered well in this area! I also love just how darn ambitious and determined the main character is. He’s an aspiring artist who clearly has big dreams, but he’s so mentally sold on the idea of having his band play at a professional venue that he isn’t stopping to consider if he and his friends should try a smaller approach by going indie – love the subtle hint of foreshadowing that your protagonist should consider the benefits of starting off as a soloist. Teamwork is great, and absolutely necessary at times, but its also important to establish your own identity outside of the group setting as well. This is a great theme presented especially well with the struggles of an aspiring musician, and I can’t wait to see what you’ll choose to deliver on the theme with the ending of the short! I feel like almost every creator, regardless of profession or background, can relate to this theme of needing to meet societal expectations ‘to get your foot in the door’ and identify with the protagonist in some fashion. There’s so much realism behind that and I love that you’re tackling that theme! Like others have pointed out, the storyboard’s biggest weakness right now is its sense of timing. For me personally, I was still able to follow along with the story fine – but I can definitely see how the fast timing can potentially damage the viewing experience for others. Thankfully, with a bit of sound design and solid editing, it shouldn’t be too difficult to resolve. My recommendation would be to find a very good instrumental/musical score that you like – with tempos and melodies that you feel best compliment the story as the mood progresses throughout the short – and time out your camera shots based on that instrumental track. [For example, if you have a series of shots where the protagonist is sad about loosing his band members, you could find a melody of sad violin or guitar strings to serve as a backdrop for that particular section.] Not every drawing needs to be held for only a second, you can space the drawings out to be held on screen for several seconds if you wanted to. Again, it depends on the duration of the overall camera shots; some will require to be held on-screen longer than others to get visual messages across. If you even got someone to compose a score exclusively for your short, I can definitely see this being used to your advantage in enhancing the story too. Like it could be revealed at the end of the finished storyboard that the musical score itself was created by the short’s protagonist the entire time and the ending shot of the storyboard reveals this to the audience/viewer – that could be a very fun instance of fourth-wall breaking. :)

It’s looking pretty good so far! the characters are very expressive, especially the main character girl! My only piece of advice would be to slow down on some of the images, especially the important ones; because each of the images only lasted a second long, they were flying by much too quickly for me that I wasn’t able to take in as much info as needed to better understand the story. However if you are concerned about making it too long you could cut down on some of your images that aren’t as relevant to the story and focus more on the ones that are. Doing so will allow viewers to see the focus of your important images better and give your story much more clarity, especially since you don’t have sound yet Anyway I hope this helps, keep up the good work Diego!

I really like the freshness and vitality of your story, Diego. The theme of a rock band is always exciting and fun. Your drawing style has personality and expressiveness. The use of colour to express the emotions of the characters or to highlight some scenes makes the story more compelling. I imagine the sounds of the messages coming to his mobile phone, the drums, the guitar and other instruments and some other ambient noises and I think it would make the story even more attractive. Nice work, congratulations, my friend! :)

I would love to see more of it, your drawings are very clear and easy to follow, if you choose to later work on the timing of the images, there is a cool beat feeling now, that might be worth keeping or even with sound cues. I like the everyday struggles and thoughts of the characters it's really rich and captivating. Keep it up!

This story really works! I was able to follow as is, so it’s clearly communicated. I like how the character is real and complex and confronts relatable struggles while pursuing her dream. The drawings are so cute and I expressive; I love the detail and care taken on this piece. I also enjoy the comedic moments. I think it’s a great job!

Maybe slow down some of the more detailed pictures so there's time to see all the things that are happening. Overall, the plot was pretty clear. Love the cliffhanger ending.